I didn't caucus in Washington State today. Of course, it's my own damn fault for not knowing where my caucus meets.

Personally, I blame the campaigns. They failed the mobile wireless test.

Caucus time is 1 pm. Doors close at 1:30. Left the house at 12:55. Plenty of time; after all, I vote just up the street at the elementary school. Arrived precisely at 1 pm...to an empty parking lot.

Oh yeah. I remember reading, "your caucus location is different from your polling location." No problem. It's an elementary school. That much I remember.

Twenty-eight minutes...

How hard can it be?

Two more elementary schools, eight miles, ten minutes later (don't do the math), and I'm worried. From the third school parking lot, I whip out my BlackBerry, fire up the browser, point it at Gmail and pull up the Washington State Democrats Caucus Information Center which I'd sent to daughter #3 yesterday.

Seventeen minutes...

Whoa. Way too many links. All I want is where's my damn caucus!

Take a guess and try their Caucus FAQ which on its third bullet point buried deep in text, links to WA Democrats Caucus Finder. Which doesn't work with mobile devices.

Aaaargh.

Twelve minutes...

Telephone call to District Dems. Voice mail. Dialing their back line. More voice mail. They probably know where their caucus is. Bastards couldn't leave a crew of teenagers to answer phones? Where is the next generation of smart-ass college politicos going to come from?

Ten minutes and I'm ready to waterboard someone. Ticking clock syndrome. I can't believe I'm going to miss my own caucus.

411 says no Obama for President in Seattle. Expands her search to Bellevue, Tacoma, Puget Sound. No listing. No Barack Obama, any variation. Wow, that's beyond dumb. Yo, Obama campaign. WTF? Cingular/ATT 411 doesn't know you exist. Might want to correct that.

8 minutes and someone is yelling "Cut the red wire, no, the green wire, the green wire, no, no, cut the red wire." I knock him out with a beer bottle and dial on my BlackBerry.

411 to Clinton for President, Seattle. No one with that listing, same routine as before. Nada. Yo, Clinton Campaign: WAKE UP! Voter here trying to get to speak!

hillaryclinton.com is a mass of links, totally unfriendly. Do I Take Action? Go to the States? Attend or Plan an Event? I'm so confused!

(Afterwards, I returned to the Clinton site. I can't even scroll down their State page to get to Washington to see if there is a caucus finder; it rolls off the side of my notebook. In Clinton-land, unless you have a BIG screen, you don't count. This is one of the most confusing websites I've ever seen.)

5 minutes... Why is there a kidnapped blond girl in my trunk? And who is this Jack guy claiming to be her dad... and speaking poorly? I knock him out as well with a well-placed Twitter comment (apparently, he is speechless without any WGA Writers.)

Either my mobile device will save democracy or we're all doomed.

Ah, here we go. Back on the WA Dems Caucus Finder. I discover four links hidden buried in a bunch of text
right above the "The frame could not be loaded" error msg. Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids.

http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/walookup
http://www.46dems.com/2008/caucuslocationsmap2.php
http://41dems.org/gmap/caucus.html
http://www.docaucus.com/

Obama's caucus finder doesn't work with mobile at all. Gee, I'm not surprised.

(Afterwards, I looked up Obama's finder from my regular system. It insisted on full name, address, email and phone as required fields. Since I know all that is needed is last name and zip, this is the Obama campaign capturing personal information to build their campaign list, not doing the minimum needed to serve you. The Obama camp is just sucking up people's personal information in the guise of giving out caucus info. Bad campaign, no cookie.)

Also not working with mobile are the links to the 46th and 41st district Dems, even when I switch on Java script.

The last link works! Hurray. (DoCaucus.com is owned and paid for by Rick DeWitt. PCO, Caucus Chair, and 2nd Vice Chair of 44th LD Democrats.) According to the website notes. Good for you, Rick DeWitt. Yours is the ONLY site that passed the mobile wireless test. If only I'd found it half an hour ago.

1 minute...

Finally -- my caucus location... and no automatic link to a map or directions. Up to me to cut and paste the address into the provided MapQuest link. By the time I start trying, it's 1:30, 1:31, 1:32. My caucus is ten minutes away and the doors are closed.

I go eat waffles.

Stupid candidates. Stupid Democratic Party. Stupid me.

Next time, yo campaigns... make your sites WORK for some person driving around trying to vote with 30 minutes left. You too, State Democratic Parties. Take 10-15 mobile devices, and test.

I wanted to vote today. Tried hard to do so and failed.

Campaigns -- get your damn act together. It's 2008 and I live wirelessly.

K? Mmmk.

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Jesse Wendel is the Publisher and creator of Group News Blog.